maybe some of you think that this outfit its not me. because i always looks so girly with a dress or mini skirt, and wearing a heel or wedges or flat shoes. because the fact is, i don't always dressed up in that way. because sometimes, i feel so comfortable wearing pants and boots, or just wearing a t-shirt and looks so boyish. well, that's the real me anyway, i'm not girly. mom said that i am a girl who dressed up like a girl but sometimes looks a boy, so i am a girl who is looks boyish sometimes. hard to explain it, but maybe if some of you just dressed up like me or have a same thought like me, you'll know what i mean. talking about me, or who i really am. i feel so hard to be 'me'. you know, i have so many friends out there. old friends from elementary school, junior high school, senior high school, until now i have so many friends from my campus. but, i have ( i can't count it ) because maybe i can say it, just 1 or 2 best friend. yes, i can be an easy going person, and act so friendly with anyone near me. but i can't be so close with someone, i couldn't feel comfortable as fast as the other. i don't know why, but if i was in a place and in that place there's no my best friend, or someone i can talk with ( and i feel so comfortable talking with them ) i can't stay any longer in there. i feel like "i just wanna go home, there's no one here"
so, how hard it is ? its so fuckin hard to be me, huh? yes ... yes....i'm that kind of a person who will always hide, and be the quite one if there's no one there i can talk with ( with a comfort feeling ), yes i am that kind of a girl who has so many friends, but just a few best friend, 1 or 2 ? you can count with your fingers. So, if my friends ask me to hang out ( but there's no one of my best friend there ) i will said that can't go with them, not everytime but it happens often.  is it good? no! of course its not! i wanna feel like i can hang out with everyone i knew, talk so many things with anyone i can talk with without thinking " am i feel so comfort " but i can't :( so.....its hard to understand my self. you know, the hardest one to be understood its not someone else, but yourself! try to understand yourself first, then you can try to understand the others :)